My work as an astrobiologist and astronomer may have brought you here, but over the past few years, I’ve added another role to my CV: Rest Leader. Let me tell you a bit about how I got here, and what that really means.
I’m a lifelong overachiever.
My determination to outwork everyone around me at school, at work, and even at home had always delivered the results and approval I craved. I built a flourishing career, developed a deep passion for my research, and found happiness in my marriage. But after welcoming our daughter, that same all-in approach that had served me for so long drove me straight into a mental and physical health crisis. Motherhood, it turns out, can be complicated for overachievers.
Crippled by burnout and unsure of my path forward, I found myself face to face with a challenge that couldn’t be solved with more studying, more writing, or more resolve. This crisis demanded that, for the first time in my life, I slow down and find a better, sustainable way to survive.
My work as an astronomer led me to search for life beyond our planet. Along the way, I discovered that the cosmos offers endless lessons. The knowledge I gained through my research and study took on new meaning in this challenging moment: It guided a yearlong practice of learning how to rest and eventually illuminated a new path as a rest leader.
I began to learn how to rest. How to make time for myself. How to accept that not every task requires mastery. That not every demand needs to be met. I began a Yoga Nidra practice. I found a rest partner. I began to turn a new page. I recovered my joy.
Rest, as I quickly learned, wasn’t only missing from my life. When I began to open up about my experiences, I realized that many of my fellow high achievers were struggling.
I began sharing what I learned with my colleagues and students. I wanted to teach them how to:
* choose self-compassion over self-hatred and critique
* pause and settle using techniques from yoga nidra and mindfulness
* take action from a place of rest, which is far more productive than action born from chronic exhaustion, anxiety, and stress
* set boundaries with themselves and others
* unravel expectations around being a “good mother, “good daughter,” “good friend,” and “good worker”
* live seasonally and in relationship with nature
So here I am, several years later, not doing it all but doing things softer and easier, and hoping to bring balance and joy to more of us along the way.
Allowing the mind and body to rest is not a luxury. Making space for rest empowers overachievers to hear wisdom from within, often for the first time, about the unique fears that keep us striving for perfection.
For years, I lived as an O-type star –– intensely hot and bright, and constantly on the cusp of burning out. Now, I’ve embraced life as an M star, which burns low and slow. I may not light up the entire sky at all times, but I’m confident in my ability to shine for years to come.
I plan to share more about my own journey and rest leadership here.
This short guided meditation is perfect for when you have limited time and want to replenish your energy. Using the techniques of yoga nidra we will use body rotation and breath sensing to ground ourselves and bring ease and rest to the body. Tap into your own body’s natural healing power by choosing stillness and the awareness that, even in uncertain times, everything is ok.
If you want to learn more, I hope you’ll sign up at the newsletter (coming soon!) to join me on this journey.